Nobody Warned Me...

The constant fear.
constant.
like all the time.

Everybody says “Guess you won’t be sleeping anymore,” or “Oh boy, time to get a shotgun for behind the door!”

Haha…

They warn you about the silly things they remember, or that they’ve heard someone else say.

They don’t tell you about the fear, the constant wondering about are they happy? Am I doing everything I can to make sure they’re
well adjusted?
social?
have good morals?
can tell a good person from a bad person?
not traumatizing them? (too much)
getting them all the nutrients they need?

You can’t turn it off. You can get distracted, you can think of something else for a bit, but it always comes back.

Did I put everything they may need in the diaper bag?

Wait is that food that contains x and x and x safe for them?

Most of it is noise from what we hear online, and from other people. I try to keep in mind my car seat was little more than a laundry basket (at least I had one?) my 90s food was coloured with such bright colours I’m sure it made the diapers interesting, and we are more fearful than ever with the constant drone of social media and bad news that spreads like wildfire.

I know my kids are safe

I know my kids are happy

I know there will be problems in the future

and I know I’m doing everything I can.

I also know that this fear will likely be something that travels with me for the rest of my life. I will always have fear of if they are loved in a healthy way, if they are doing all the things that are good for them emotionally and physically, and if they are safe at any given moment.

Speaking of safety…
You warn me of all these silly things, but nobody thought to warn me about how god awful having to move car seats around is?

Shame on you all. ;)